


Burning

by FunandFictional



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Dehydration, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memory Loss, Near Death Experiences, Nightmares, Scars, spirit dragons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2018-10-28 16:21:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 18,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10834878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FunandFictional/pseuds/FunandFictional
Summary: Hanzo never thought he'd live long enough to see himself be forgiven. He never thought he'd have a reason to want to live. Yet, dying alone, he can't help but regret the promises he's breaking.





	1. Survive

The sun beat down on his neck and he could feel even the sweat beginning to evaporate in the blistering heat. Pulling his arms close, he tried to shelter them from the sun, using only his body as shade. Nothing but sand for miles in every direction. The battlefield now seemed tranquil when compared to this nightmare. Coughing a few times, his lungs felt tight and each breath was ragged. Gasping for more air, the dry air merely made him cough a few more times. Each step forward felt more and more pointless. He should just rest. Let himself sink down into the sand for a second and rest…

“You cannot stop now, the sun is nowhere near setting. You will die if you stop.”

“Help me,” Hanzo gasped out at the voices, knowing doing so was a wasted effort.

“You are too weak. There is nothing we can do.”

“We will all die,” Hanzo sunk to the ground, bow slipping out of his hand.

“Is this not what you always wanted? Did you not once beg for death? And now you are desperate to live?”

“For him. For them. I promised…” his vision filled with black splotches. Closing his eyes, he could almost imagine he was somewhere else. He could almost imagine he was home.

“There is nothing we can do.”

“You will die and we will wait for another master.”

Feeling his life slipping away, Hanzo’s body began to feel colder. Maybe death was not so bad, if it took away the pain. If it took away the burning. 

“The young one will cry.”

Hana. The first person Hanzo had become friends with once he joined. The first person to sit with him at meals. To make him smile. The first one to realize that his cold exterior had merely been a shield and the first one to tear it down. He had never seen the young woman cry, she had always been so strong. But maybe… this would be what finally broke her.

“He will not forgive you.”

The dragons were mocking him now. Genji had already stated multiple times that he had forgiven Hanzo. They had finally reconciled and put some of their past behind them. Yet, Genji had always been stubborn. He would never forgive his brother for giving up so easily. For letting this be what killed him. 

“He will not survive.”

They said it in such a hushed tone. Because in all of the years they had resided within Hanzo, they had never seen their master more full of life than when he had been with Jesse. The foolish cowboy. Too reckless. Every mission seemed to end in a mere miss or a bullet just grazing a vital organ. Too many close calls that had been survived because Hanzo had been there. The same could be said for Hanzo, for the archer was certain that he would have lost his life years ago if not for the cowboy. Yet, the dragons’ tone seemed to imply that it wouldn’t be the battlefield that would take Jesse’s life. No, it would be much sadder than that. The metal band around Hanzo’s finger seemed to melt into his skin, a burning reminder of what he promised. Every late night scream of terror melded itself together in the archer’s mind and he could almost feel his husband’s body shaking in fear of the past. He would not be able to comfort Jesse this time. He could only hope that the whiskey didn’t burn his love, but brought him some sleep.

“He will not survive.”

“Please, no matter what happens… Tell him I am sorry,” Hanzo whispered.


	2. Voices

“I DON’T FUCKING CARE! FIND HIM NOW!” McCree shouted, voice hoarse from yelling.

“Jesse they’re doing the best they ca…”

“Ang, he’s been out there for too long. We need to find him. Agent D.Va report,” Jesse growled into the mic.

“Nothing yet.”

“Agent Phar-”

“Nothing.”

“Genj-“

“No…”

Placing a hand on his shoulder, Mercy sighed when he shook her off and followed him as he ran to the front.

“Lena, how long until we get there?”

The pilot frowned. “Another half an hour at least.”

“Fuck. Fuck, we need to get there sooner!”

Running back to the monitors, Jesse gripped his hands on the desk as he scanned each agents’ cameras. Just sand. Sand everywhere. 

“Come on. Come on…” 

“Jesse.”

Glancing around, Jesse stood up in shock.

“What?”

“I am sorry.”

“Whose there?” Jesse stared at the screen, expecting to see someone calling in, but nothing. No one else was in the room with him, Angela had stayed with Lena.

“I am sorry.”

The voice was too faint. Yet, it sent a wave of dread down the cowboy’s spine. 

“Who?” he whispered.

“I am sorry.”

“Hanzo? No, don’t say that. Please, please stop it.”

“I am sorry.“

“Stop it.”

“I am so-”

“STOP!” Jesse shot the wall where the voice seemed to be coming from. 

“Jesse! I got him!” D.Va called out from behind as Angela ran into the room.

Falling to his knees, Jesse couldn’t stop shaking for long enough to respond. Looking from him to the screen, she settled next to him, pulling Peacekeeper slowly out of his tight grip.

“He needs Mercy right now! Hanzo!” 

Covering his ears, Jesse rocked back and forth. He didn’t register what Angela responded to Hana with. He couldn’t hear any of them anymore. All he could hear was that faint voice, repeating itself over and over again. Yet, as it continued to loop through his mind, he heard faint words from someone else. From two other voices. 

“We are sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you all so much for the comments saying you wanted more! This fic will be at least 3 chapters, but it is very likely it could go on longer depending on if anyone is interested in more.


	3. Strike a Deal

Cold. So cold. Too cold for someone who had almost just died in the desert. 

Every day that passed by seemed to drain more and more heat from the room. Each day it felt icier as Jesse walked in to see Hanzo’s body.

After a month, the cowboy swore he would be able to see his breath.

There was no life in this room. The monitors all seemed like they were lying. The steady rise and fall of Hanzo’s chest was just a facade. Jesse knew something was wrong, but every test Angela ran seemed to contradict his feelings.

“He’s fine Jesse. Vitals are good. Breathing is stable. Heartbeat is strong. He’ll wake up in no time.”

“We must trust Angela, Jesse. She saved me, she can save Hanzo as well.”

But Jesse could sense it. Something was telling him that they were wrong and that he needed to do… something. 

“Hey, Zenyatta… um can I talk to you for a second?”

The group looked up in shock. Jesse had been avoiding eating with everyone since Hanzo had been brought back. He’d been avoiding talking with the majority of them for the last 2 weeks. So, they all stared as Zenyatta floated to the doorway to follow the cowboy out of the room.

“How can I be of assistance to you?”

Scratching the back of his neck, Jesse sighed. “Look, I… I don’t know. Everyone else keeps saying he is gonna be fine, but I can’t help thinking I’m missing something. I feel like I can feel something they can’t and I dunno… You talk about souls a lot and maybe that’s what’s bothering me? I just feel like, when I walk in that room… he’s not there.”

“You feel as though Hanzo’s soul is missing?” Zenyatta asked calmly, tone gentle and in a strange way, comforting. Jesse relaxed his shoulders and nodded.

“Wasn’t sure how to bring this up with anyone else, cause I felt they’d think I was going mad.”

Zenyatta floated past Jesse and down the hall. Following the monk, Jesse watched him stop next to the doorway to Hanzo’s hospital room. 

“Hmmm… When did you begin having the suspicions that a part of Hanzo was missing?”

“Right before we found him.”

Zenyatta turned to look at Jesse, tilting his head to the side slightly. “Before?”

“I heard his voice. He kept saying sorry and… and…”

“Was that all he said?”

Staring into the room, Jesse’s eyes landed on Hanzo’s arm. “That’s all he said, but… I heard two other voices. They said that they were sorry too.”

“Two other voices?”

“I’d never heard them before in my life, but they sounded familiar. Like, I felt I was supposed to know ‘em.”

“Genji, what do you think?”

Turning quickly, Jesse watched as Genji rounded the corner. Clearly eavesdropping, he at least had the courtesy to bow his head slightly at the pair.

“About the voices, Master?”

“Yes, I have my suspicions, but would like to hear what you believe first.”

Genji nodded. “I believe that you heard his spirit dragons, Jesse. They are the only way in which Hanzo could have communicated with you.”

“His dragons?”

“Jesse, if you believe there is something wrong with Hanzo, perhaps his dragons can be of assistance?” Zenyatta said.

“But how do we get them to-“

“Genji?” Zenyatta turned to the other, who had begun to fidget. 

“I… I do not know if they are the best option.”

“Why not?”

“Hanzo’s dragons are much older than my own. They have passed between so many masters, that I wonder if they care enough to save Hanzo. They respected him because of his strength, so I am unsure how they have reacted to these events. The dragons may have already left him.”

“But we gotta try, right? How do you think I could talk to them?” Jesse asked.

“Hmmm, I could try to use my dragon. But, I just do not want you to get your hopes up. I think it would be better to just wait…”

“Genji, please. Honestly feel like this is the only shot. I know somethings wrong.”

“I understand.”

Opening the door, Genji moved to stand on the left side of Hanzo. Moving to stand next to him, Jesse watched from the corner of his eye as Zenyatta floated just into the room, but stayed by the doorway. 

Kneeling down, Genji began to murmur something quietly. Likely in Japanese, Jesse couldn’t decipher any of the quiet words. 

Not knowing what to do, Jesse reached out his hand to rest it over Hanzo’s. Just brushing Hanzo’s wrist, he felt for the pulse as he waited. Closing his eyes, Jesse calmed his own breathing, worried about disrupting Genji.

“So, you are still here?”

“What?” Jesse glanced around, but no one had talked. Genji was still kneeling and Zenyatta was meditating by the door. “Did you two hear th-“ Neither of them looked to Jesse. 

“They can not hear us. We have chosen to speak with you.”

“You’re… Hanzo’s-“

“You are a clever one. You noticed what we had done immediately.”

“Is Hanzo alright?”

“He is here. But yes, we sealed up his soul.”

“Why?”

“You should be grateful. We saved him.”

Jesse sighed, a smile on his lips, “Thank-you. Thank-you-“

“But, now there is a problem.”

“What’s wrong?” 

“We used the last of our power to save him. We can not simply release him. Not while he is so weak.”

“So, you’ll release him once he’s all better?”

“No.”

Jesse growled in frustration. “What do you mean, no? You went through all the trouble of saving him and now you’re not gonna let him go?”

“We will, but we expect payment. Merely using his strength is boring to us. What do you have to offer?”

“Anything. I’ll give you anything, just let him go.”

The cold laughs of the dragons made Jesse shiver. “Anything? Your own life?”

“Yes.” For Hanzo, who had just started enjoying his life. Jesse knew his husband would never forgive him, but it would be worth it. He had finally started to forgive himself. Jesse couldn’t let Hanzo die now.

“No, we shall not take your own life. That would merely cause us trouble once he awoke. We wish for something more… amusing.”

“Like I said, you can take anything.”

“Even what you care about most?”

Jesse frowned. “Hanzo is what I care about most.”

The dragons’ laughter grew to a roar. “Foolish humans. Such linear thinking. So uncreative. So boring. We know what we want.”

Standing his ground, Jesse nodded. “Take whatever. None of it matters as much as saving Hanzo.”

“So foolish. But perhaps, you will surprise us again. We anxiously await how you will perform for us.”

“Just do it. Just save him.”

“Very well human. Do not disappoint us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well never mind what I said in the last notes, this is definitely gonna be a longer story than I was anticipating, but I hope you all enjoy it.


	4. Remember?

His head felt heavy. Like there were ten bricks just resting right on top of it. Had he really had that much whiskey last night? Groaning, Jesse slowly pulled himself up. His bed felt so nice and warm, but… He knew he had to wake up for something this morning.

“Drank so much, don’t know what day it is.” Jesse cracked his neck and rolled his shoulders a few times. Why did his head feel so weird? He didn’t even remember drinking last night, but why else would he feel so hungover?

“Must’ve had a late night drink with Rein or something… Only person here who could get me drunk enough to forget my own name.”

Slipping into the shower, Jesse lazily washed his hair, not bothering to rush. If he couldn’t remember the problem, it probably wasn't too important. Well, maybe that wasn't true. Ever since he was a child, Jesse had a notoriously bad memory, but this was just ridiculous.

Drying himself off, he pulled on some clothes. Leaving his hat behind since his hair was still wet, he headed to the kitchen. 

Glancing up at the clock, Jesse paused. It was about 3 PM. Everyone should be up and moving around, but nobody was there. 

Even the younger members who chose to spend their nights playing games should’ve been up by now. 

“Oh, well. Guess a quiet day’ll be good for this hangover.” Heading to the fridge, he pulled out a random bowl. Nope, no idea if that was even supposed to be food, but he was not going to eat that. Pulling out a plate, he smiled when he found some cold slices of pizza.

“Thank-god, about time we had some good junk food around here. Must’ve been made when And went to sleep.” Grabbing a can of soda, he wandered to the kitchen table.

“AH, AT LAST HE AWAKES!” Jesse jumped as Reinhardt shouted into his ear, a large hand landing on his shoulder.

“You aren’t hungover?”

The other man stared at him, head tilted in confusion. “Why would I be hungover, my friend?”

“Wait… I wasn’t drinking with you last night?” Jesse rubbed at his temples, willing the throbbing pain to stop.

“No, I just returned from my mission this morning! Perhaps you were drinking with Jack and forgot?”

Jesse shook his head. “No… No, Jack doesn’t ever drink enough with me for me to even get tipsy. Always worried about the health issues. Couldn’t be Jack.”

“My friend, I do believe you have a problem if you can not even remember who you drink with! Perhaps you should have Angela examine you?” Reinhardt offered the suggestion as he poured himself a glass of water.

“No. Ang will use it as an excuse to ban me from drinking anything. I’m probably just a little sick. Maybe I’ll go take a nap or something.”

“What you need is some fresh air! Go enjoy the nice day!” 

“What’re you up to?”

“After Angela is done checking Winston, I have to go in. Make sure there all battle wounds are properly accounted for and healed!”

“Fun. Well, don’t tell Ang that I’m sick. I’ll even take your advice and go for a walk.”

“Excellent! But do take care not to make yourself more ill, you will probably be on the next mission!”

“Yeah, yeah. See ya later, Rein.”

Heading back to his room, Jesse grabbed his hat, gun, and communicator. “Athena, I’m going for a walk around town if anyone needs me!” He shouted at the ceiling.

“Understood, Agent McCree.”

Walking out of the base, Jesse sighed happily when the warm sun hit him. Reinhardt had been right, it was a good day out. Instead of taking the path that would lead to town, Jesse went left toward the beach. Walking along the cliffs, the ocean breeze was pleasant.

After a bit of walking, Jesse found a nice spot of grass, shaded by a large tree. Leaning up against it, Jesse removed his hat and rested it carefully on his lap. 

Gazing out at the waves, he smiled and closed his eyes. Listening to the distant sound of crashing water against the cliffs.

“It begins.”

Blinking his eyes open, Jesse lifted his right hand to the sky. Shading his eyes, he stared up expecting to see someone, but he was alone.

“Hmmm, great. Now, I’m hearing things.” Slowly lowering his hand, Jesse paused. Staring at it, he couldn’t help but frown. Something was missing? No, his right hand was all there. Five real fingers. A bit hairy and with some scars, but nothing out of the ordinary. But it just looked strange to him for some reason. 

“Maybe I am sick? Can’t even recognize my own hand now?” Lowering his hand, Jesse let his eyes drift shut again. 

“A second chance is rare. Do not waste it.”

Instead of opening his eyes again, Jesse merely shrugged. Maybe he was… Oh, Mei had explained it to him once… Lucid dreaming? Was that it? Where he like knew he was dreaming or something? Well, would have to get her to explain it to him again later. 

“It will be more difficult, far more difficult this time. Do entertain us.”

“And human, do not forget… We will not offer you another chance.”

The rest of the dream was strange. No more voices, but just odd shapes and noises. Screaming and crying, bright streams of blue and green and… gold. A desert? He felt like he couldn’t breathe. No… the air was too frigid, it was snowing. Snow, there was snow everywhere. And laughter? Who could laugh so happily when it was so cold… Who could enjoy themselves so much in a snowstorm? 

“Agent McCree.”

“Agent McCree.”

“Please report, Agent McCree.”

“Hmmm?” Jesse pulled his communicator out of his pocket, staring at the device in confusion before finally tapping on it to respond. “What, Athena?”

“Incoming call from Agent Shimada.”

“Oh, okay. Put him through.”

“Jesse, where are you?”

“Outside… Just taking a nap, how are you-“

“Ugh, well could you please come back to base? There is something we need to discuss.”

“Aw, anything for yo-“

“Not the time.”

“What’s got you in such a bad mood?” Jesse dusted off his pants as he stood. 

“You.”

“Don’t be like that. How about I-“

“Jesse, we need to talk about something. Something is wrong.”

“What do you mean?” Jess frowned at the device, but he did speed up his walking.

“I… I am sorry.”

The cowboy froze. Why did that sound so familiar?

“Look, I don’t know what you’re sorry about, but I’m sure we can fix it.”

“No. I am… I can’t remember. I’m forgetting something important.”

Jesse walked faster. He could almost see the base now. “You too?”

“Something has been missing. I… I can’t remember… I talked with some of the others about it and they said the same thing.”

“I woke up feeling like that! And I just had a weird dream that I think-“

“Exactly! I woke up and felt like… I felt like part of my heart was missing. Does that sound strange?”

“Look, we’ll figure out what’s going on.”

“What are we forgetting, Jesse?!” 

Running into the room, Jesse paused in front of the other man. Pulling him into a hug, he couldn’t help the tears that fell from his face. 

“I don’t know. I don’t know.”

The other wrapped his arms around the cowboy. “What are we forgetting? Why does my heart hurt so much?”

Choking back on the sob, Jesse felt it too. The strange aching in his heart. Like a shot to the chest. Clinging on like his life depended on it, Jesse couldn’t stop sobbing. Every part of him felt broken. It felt too much like when he had first lost his arm. Like there was a phantom limb, that he could just about feel, but it wasn’t there. What was gone was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t focus. A name. He just couldn’t name what was missing. “I don’t know. The pain won’t stop. It hurts so much. Genji, what are we forgetting?”


	5. Meeting

“Okay, everyone has compiled their lists. We are now going to go around the table and each of us are going to say what we noticed that is weird or seems out of place. Jack, why don’t you get us started?” Winston gestured to the soldier.

“First, after going through our mission reports, there are sections missing from a large portion of the documents. Every few missions, there seems to be only five member teams, which is also unheard of. I found an entire collection of documents mixed in with the other briefings that are completely blank. Also, there is an unused bedroom in between Reinhardt and Genji’s room. ”

“Shall I go next?” Angela stood, holding a folder. “After going through the medical records, I also found several blank documents. This folder is not labeled and is filled with blank pieces of paper. Also, I found that I have blood and DNA samples stored, but unlabeled as well. These unlabeled samples are almost identical matches to Genji, but there is enough of a difference to indicate that they do not belong to him.”

“The training room has recently built equipment for a sniper, which I did not request and have not used. Yet, for whatever reason, it seems to have been used frequently by someone,” Ana chimed in.

“Does anyone else have anything to report?” Winston asked, glancing up from his tablet where he was jotting down notes.

Hana nodded and cleared her throat. “Uh, some of my archived streams went missing. And there are random parts in some of them where the screen just goes black for a few minutes.”

“This is highly suspicious and incredibly odd. Genji would you like to begin your list? From our understanding, you and Jesse seem to have the strongest reaction to whatever it is that is going on.”

Genji nodded. “This morning I had a strange aching in my head and I constantly had the feeling that I was forgetting something. When I saw my reflection, I could not remember who I was. I have no recollection of what happened to my body or why I am almost entirely covered in cybernetics. When thinking back and through consulting Angela, we have no idea why she needed to operate on me. Focusing on my other memories, most of my past has become foggy. I am unsure why I was filled with anger when I joined Blackwatch. I am unsure of why I went to seek out Zenyatta. So many parts of my life seem unexplainable now. All of the reasons for what I’ve done in my life seem to be missing something.”

“Jesse?”

Clearing his throat, Jesse sighed. “I woke up feeling like I had an awful hangover. Couldn’t put my finger on it, but I knew i was forgetting something important, just like what Genji said. Went for a walk and had a weird nightmare. I walked to that empty bedroom instead of my own by accident. There are strange empty spaces in my room, on my shelves, and in my closet. But I’m not missing as many of my memories as Genji. I just seem to have some weird blank spots concerning the last few years. Honestly, I have no idea what I did for my birthday. For some reason, I was out of the country for Christmas, but I don’t know where. I wasn’t on a mission, but I think I was in Japan? But not with Genji, so… I have no idea why I went there. This whole day just seems like something is missing.”

“Or someone?” Hana said, quietly.

“Hmmm?” Jesse turned to her.

Hana sat up straighter, a smile on her face. “That’s it! Someone is missing!”

“Hana, how would it be possible that we would all forget someone and that almost every trace of them would be gone?” Mei asked.

“I don’t know? But, doesn’t it make sense? In a weird way, I think… I think something happened where someone went missing. If, if we find them… Maybe everything will go back to normal?”

“That sounds too extreme. Scientifically, there is no rational way of explaining your theory, Hana,” Winston stated.

She turned to Jesse. “You believe me, don’t you? He’s missing…”

“He?” Jesse repeated.

Eyebrows raised, Hana paused before nodding. “He… yeah. I can…” She shut her eyes tightly. “When I really focus, I feel like I know him. It’s just a silhouette, but… I feel like if I just remembered a little more… I can’t remember his name, but it’s on the tip of my tongue. I feel like I’ve said his name a hundred times, but now I can’t remember.”

“We could run through thousands of names, but how can we be sure that you’re right?” Winston asked.

“I believe her,” Jesse rose from the table. “Genji, Hana… Let’s go find him. Whoever or wherever he is. Hana, you pilot the ship?”

Jumping up, she nodded happily. “Yeah! Let’s go!”

“Jesse, you can’t just take two other agents to go on a hunt for someone that might not exist. We need to think through this and form a plan,” Jack said.

“No, we’re gonna find him in no time. Just, give us a month. If we don’t find him, then we’ll come back and you can form as many plans as you want.”

Crossing his arms, Jack sighed. “Fine, but I’m treating this as a mission. Zenyatta, can you go as support?”

Zenyatta, who had been quiet the entire meeting, simply nodded. 

“You have one month. But, no bringing attention to yourselves. This is a covert mission. Don’t cause us any headaches.”

“Yes sir.”

“We’ll find him Jesse, I know it,” Hana whispered, the huge grin on her face relaxing Jesse somewhat.

“We will. Now, where should we check first?”


	6. New Friends

Sitting up, he rolled his shoulders and stretched his arms above his head. Rubbing at his eyes, he smiled. 

“You have accepted it?”

Hanzo nodded. “Yes, like you both said, it is easier to simply accept it. With nothing but my name and a few possessions, there is not much else I can do but trust you two.”

“That is a good attitude. We will check in on you again, on another day.”

Slowly rising from his bed, Hanzo moved to the window to open the blinds. Gazing out at the bustling city beneath him, he sighed. Perhaps today he would run into someone who knew him.

Turning away from the window, his eyes scanned over the hotel room. When he had awoken in the room a few days ago, he had been utterly confused. His two spirit dragons reminded him of his name, which had sparked some recollection. 

His name was Hanzo Shimada. Raised in a strict household that had tried to groom him into the perfect heir, he had left for reasons that he could not remember. The stifling atmosphere of his previous life in Japan, however, was missing here. In this city, there were no expectations of him. While he wanted to remember more of how he ended up here, he was content in the knowledge that he could go at his own pace.

The only possessions he had were a duffle bag of clothing, a decent amount of money, and a case holding a bow and arrows. Pulling out a pair of pants and a navy v-neck, he quickly tied up his hair. Slinging the case over his shoulder, he exited the room. He had no idea how long he was allowed to reside in the room, but suspected that the staff would let him know when his time was up. 

Slipping out onto the city’s sidewalk, he pondered where to go today. Shrugging, he went left from the hotel. Passing a café, his stomach growled.

“What would you like today?”

“Uhm, green tea and one of the blueberry scones,” Hanzo answered. 

The cashier nodded, typing in his order. “You aren’t from around here?”

“Excuse me?” Hanzo tilted his head in confusion.

“Oh, sorry! Just your accent, not too British.”

“Yes, that is true,” Hanzo considered the comment for a second. It was foggy, but he was almost certain he had learned English while at home in Japan. With other students? No, maybe it had been personal lessons… But he was sure that he had taken the class with at last someone else…

“Here’s your order, sir.” Taking the food, Hanzo handed the other man his money.

“Thank-you.” 

“Have a nice day.”

Moving to a table outside the café, Hanzo slowly ate his breakfast. He wondered who that other student had been. Maybe it would be worth it to go to Japan? No… the trip would be too expensive. He had a limited amount of money and he didn’t want to spend a massive amount of it without being positive it would bring his memories back. The best course of action would be to possibly get a job… Ugh, but how do you get a job without a resume and without having any memories? Do you have any past experience? I can’t remember. Yeah, that wouldn’t be the best solution. 

“Um, hello.”

Hanzo’s head shot up. A woman was standing there, holding a cup and a plate. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you! I was just wondering if I could sit with you? All the other tables are filled and my legs are killing me,” she said,

“Go ahead.”

“Thank-you, I’m Emily by the way.”

“Hanzo.”

“So Hanzo, you new to London?” Emily asked, pulling her red hair back into a ponytail.

“I guess so,” Hanzo sighed.

“You guess? You aren’t sure?”

“I woke up a few days ago without being able to remember anything about myself.”

Emily straightened in her seat, eyes widened. “What? Do you think you should talk to the police or a doctor or something?”

Shaking his head, Hanzo sighed. “No, no. You see, I am facing a dilemma.”

“Hmmm?”

Staring out, past Emily, Hanzo frowned. “I am not sure I want to remember.”

“What? Why wouldn’t you want to remember?”

“From what I’ve figured out, I feel like I was running away from something. The memories I do have, although blurry, are not pleasant. My life was a cage, my parents controlled everything I did. Maybe, I’m not forgetting as much as I believe.What if my life up to this point was terrible? Why else would I have woken up in an unfamiliar city with enough possessions to get by and no one to contact? And no way for them to contact me? Maybe this is the life I wanted?”

Emily sipped her drink, considering his words. “Maybe… My girlfriend went through a really rough time a while back. It was something that she always tries to forget, so… I can kinda see where you’re coming from. But, aren’t you scared of starting over?”

“Honestly, I do not think so,” Hanzo murmured, surprising himself.

“Well, how about this? I’ll be your first friend, new Hanzo!” Emily said, smiling widely. 

Hanzo’s blank stare of a response quickly dropped Emily’s smile. “Umm, well if you don’t want to friends with basically a stranger that’s fine! I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable!”

Shaking his head, Hanzo chuckled. “No, no. I was merely surprised that you would want to be friends with me.”

“Really? You seem like a nice guy to me!”

“I just have this suspicion that I do not usually make fast friends with anyone.”

Emily laughed. “But that’s the old you, isn’t it? How about the new Hanzo is good at making friends?”

Nodding, Hanzo smiled happily. “I would like that.”

“Hey, if you’re done with your food, how about we hang out today? I can show you all the fun touristy spots in London!”

“You are not busy with your girlfriend?”

Emily sighed. “Nope. her job requires her to be gone a lot. Probably won’t be seeing her in person this whole month.”

“That seems very difficult.”

“I guess, but I love her a lot and I know her job is important, so I understand.”

“What is her job?”

Emily scratched the back of her head and chuckled. “It’s kinda a secret. The best I can say is that she’s kinda like international secret police? I guess that would be the best way to put it? In my opinion though, she’s a hero.”

“Well, I look forward to meeting her in the future.” Emily’s grin returned as she nodded.

“I’m sure she’d love you! Come on, time for the best tour ever!”


	7. Remember Him

“I do.”

“I… I…” Jesse stared down at their joined hands. Watching the tears fall onto skin, he slowly let his eyes shift upwards. But no one was there.

To the right, Jack was standing there. Wearing a suit?

“Jack, where are we?”

Shaking his head, the soldier walked past him. Into a crowd of other Overwatch agents. They were all so nicely dressed. All smiling so happily.

Walking to the group, Jesse grabbed Ana’s arm, pulling her from the group. “Ana, what’s going on?”

“Always such a forgetful boy, probably from your drinking and lack of sleep. I’ve warned you to listen to Angela.”

“Ana.”

Shaking her head, she pointed at the door. “Might I recommend some fresh air?”

“No, Ana, something’s wrong.”

“Go, Jesse.”

Confused, he finally nodded and head towards the exit. Passing through the doors, he scanned the area. Nothing.

Nothing, but a blank room.

“What the hell is…” A bright light suddenly blinded Jesse, Blinking, Jesse turned away, back towards the other room.

Except it was different now. It was his bedroom at base…? No, he didn’t have a window on the left side of the wall. His window was on the right?

Stepping into the bedroom, Jesse inspected it. It was a bedroom at the base, but someone else’s. Yet, some of Jesse’s stuff was there. Another pair of his boots were by the door. His blue serape was draped over the chair. His guitar leaning against the corner. 

But this wasn’t his room. He didn’t have separate doors for the closet and bathroom. The sheets were a grayish color instead of his dark red ones. There was something gold on top of the dresser.

Approaching it, his ears suddenly caught on to something. Someone was taking a shower in the bathroom. 

“Hey! Hey, it’s Jesse. Whose in there?”

The sound from inside quieted, the shower had been shut off. 

“Sorry to barge into your room, but can I ask who you are?”

Sighing, Jesse turned back to inspect the item on the dresser. It was a long gold ribbon. Reaching out his hand, he barely grazed it with his finger, when the bathroom door unlocked.

“Jesse-“

Gasping, Jesse sat up. Genji was standing over him, arms crossed. “Are you alright?”

“No… I… I think I remembered something,” Jesse’s voice trembled as he caught his breath.

“A clue?”

“Just, his voice. It was… Honestly, it sounded kinda like your’s, but… Deeper and… He sounded sad.”

Genji sat on the edge of the bed, thinking. “Anything else?”

“A golden ribbon.”

Sighing, Genji rose. “I do not think there is much we can do with just that information, but it is a start. Do you wish to sleep longer or can you head the ship?”

“Can’t Zenyatta just watch it? Ship’s on autopilot and he doesn’t sleep.”

“Master is working with Athena right now. She has granted him access to multiple surveillance cameras across the globe and we’re hoping he might see something of use to us.”

“Alright. So Hana’s next on watch after me, right?” Jesse got out of bed, grabbing his hat.

“Yes, however, we should be landing before your shift is over.”

“Do you really think searching all of Japan is going to work?”

Genji laughed. “No, but we are not searching all over Japan. We’ll check Hanamura first, but Master has suggested that we move on to Dorado after.”

“Really?”

“He’s compiling a list of places that stand out to him. We have no other leads, so Hana and I already agreed we would go through Master’s list.”

Nodding, Jesse shrugged. “Well, might as well try everything. What are some of the other places?”

“Ilios, Cairo, Numbani, Lijiang, London…”

“How are we going to investigate all of these places in a month?” Jesse blurted out.

“It will be difficult, but perhaps if one of us remembers more, we might get more information.”

Settling into the captain’s chair, Jesse frowned. “Do you think we’re ever gonna find him?”

“I feel we have to. Something is wrong and I fear we will regret not finding him.”

Closing his eyes, Jesse willed himself to remember. All that came to mind was the ribbon. “Hey, make sure to tell Zenyatta about the ribbon. Maybe with all his camera watching, he’ll catch sight of it.”

“I will, anything else?”

“No… Just… We need to find him. I feel like I’m forgetting half of my life. He has to have been important for me to feel this broken up.”

“I miss him as well. Even without memories, I know I miss him. We will find him Jesse.” Genji walked out, leaving Jesse alone.

“Focus on the dream, Jesse. Okay…” Jesse closed his eyes, concentrating.

“Beginning of the dream… I was holding hands with… No, there was something before that,” Jesse mumbled. Opening his eyes, he glared at the ceiling. “Before that… He said something. What did he say? I stuttered something out, but what did he-“

Blinking, Jesse felt tears well up and suddenly his throat was too tight. Coughing, Jesse gasped for air. “Genji! Genji!” Jesse tried to yell out. Taking a few deep breaths, he shouted again. “Genji!”

“Jesse? What is it?” The ninja bolted into the room, concerned. “Jesse, why are you crying?”

“I can’t remember his face. I can’t remember his name. Genji, I think I’ve forgotten everything about my husband,” Jesse cried out, heart aching at the realization.

“Your…”

“I remembered part of our wedding. I’m sure of it. Damnit. Damnit!”

“Jesse…”

“Why can’t I remember him?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating this week, but we're back on track and ready to play "Where In the World is Hanzo Shimada"


	8. Muscle Memory

“So what is the plan?”

“Why do we need a plan?”

“We can not just walk in. They may not be expecting us, but it is still not a good idea.”

“Ugh, okay fine. Why don’t you go in first?”

“No.”

“You just said…”

“I would like you to go in first and I will follow.”

“Does it even matter who goes in first?”

“Yes and it should be you.”

“You don’t have to be so nervous! I think this will be fun.”

“Fine, but you go first still.”

Rolling her eyes, she nodded. “Follow me.”

Walking through the large doors, there was actually no one around. The pair glancing around and finally spotted an information desk.

“Hi! We looked online and it said that you had an indoor archery range. We were wondering if you had rental bows? And do we need to reserve the room?” Emily asked.

The worked nodded. “Yep. Since you aren’t a class, you do need a reservation. And you’ll both need to sign a waiver. Since it’s pretty early though, no one’s here. How long would you two like to reserve for?”

“Umm,” Emily turned back to Hanzo who shrugged, “Would two hours be okay?” she asked.

“Alright. The rental fee for the bows and two hours will be $20 and here are the waivers,” he handed them two slips of paper and a pen. 

Quickly signing and paying, he pointed to the far wall. “The door is back there and open. Make sure to close it behind yourselves so no one can wander in.”

Slipping into the room, the pair easily found the rental bows and arrows. Reading the information on the sheet, they picked out what they believed to be the correct bows and each grabbed some arrows.

“So, you do know how to do this, right?” Emily asked, as she held her bow awkwardly. 

Lining up across from his target, Hanzo didn’t even have to think about it. His arms seemed to automatically lift into position and effortlessly pulled back to aim. Releasing the arrow landed solidly in the target, bullseye. “I believe so.”

Laughing, Emily clapped. “Didn’t tell me you were such a show off!”

“Would you like me to teach you?” Hanzo offered, turning back to her.

“Yeah! It’s cool that you retained your muscle memory, but how’d you know you were into archery?”

Pushing her elbow up higher, Hanzo stepped back to analyze her posture. “I… Widen your stance… When I woke up, a bow was one of the few possessions I had. It is very intricately detailed, so I assumed archery must have been important to me.”

“Hmm, seems like you were right! Okay, so I just pull back and release?”

“Pull back and then aim.”

Emily nodded, as she slowly pulled back. Adjusting slightly, she released the arrow. Into the very bottom edge of the target. “Huh, not as easy as it looked when you did it.”

Laughing, Hanzo handed her another arrow. “Try again, but aim a little higher. Also, pull back a bit further.”

“A little higher…” The arrow flew over the top of the target. Emily glanced back at him and raised an eyebrow.

“You will have to practice, but at least your arrow is making it to the target,” Hanzo offered, trying not to laugh at her pout.

“Thanks. This is pretty fun though. You shoot some more, I want to watch you get all in the red!” 

Chuckling, Hanzo grabbed another arrow. “Your expectations may be a little high.”

“How about this? If you get the next three arrows all in the red, I’ll buy lunch.”

“You were supposed to be paying anyways,” Hanzo replied, already pulling back an arrow.

“Fine, I’ll buy drinks for movie night.”

“Deal.”

The arrow landed almost directly onto Hanzo’s first arrow, just grazing itself into the red above it.

“One.”

“Two more, Mr. Archer!”

The next arrow landed closer to the edge of the red circle, but was still very much inside the zone.

“Two.”

“I can’t believe you actually got that in the center.”

“Three,” Hanzo released, not even looking at the target.

“You suck.”

“It is not good to be a sore loser.”

“Fine, but I get to pick the movie. And you have to help me get at least one arrow near the center of the target while we’re still here.”

“Seems fair,” Hanzo said, smiling at the redhead.

Smiling back, she laughed. “You know what? I’m so happy I picked to sit with you at the cafe. It’s been kinda lonely with Lena and Winston not being around. My work mates are nice and my other friends are great too, but I’ve had a lot of fun hanging out with someone new. Plus, you’re really funny!”

“I do not know if I would agree with that last compliment, but I am glad to have met you. I feel these first few days would have been more difficult if I hadn’t.”

“Walking around with no memories sounds incredibly scary, but I’m glad you’re doing better. Plus, you never know when you’ll get them back.”

“If I ever do.”

Smacking his shoulder, Emily sighed. “No moping! We gotta think positive, yeah?”

“Alright.”

“Good! Let’s get back to shooting, coach!”

Within the two hours, Emily did vastly improve. By the end of the time, she could confidently land most of her arrows within the target. One even landed halfway into the red, which prompted much cheering and a picture sent to Lena as proof.

“Oh, she replied,” Emily held up her phone to Hanzo as they walked along the sidewalk. 

“Thank-you for being sweet to Emily and teaching her. Can’t wait to meet you,” Hanzo read out loud. Handing Emily back the phone, it buzzed as soon as it hit her hand.

“Aww, she even sent a picture. Look,” Hanzo peered at the screen. A woman with short brown hair was giving a thumbs up. Smiling widely, she looked to be outside and wearing goggles around her neck? “Isn’t she cute?”

“Your girlfriend is a skier?”

“What… Why do you ask that?”

“The goggles.”

Glancing back at the picture, Emily laughed. “No, no. More like protective eyewear for her job. She just decided to go with a more stylish option.”

Frowning at the screen, Hanzo held his hand out. “Can I look at the picture?”

Handing over her phone, Emily cocked her head to the side. “Something wrong?”

Staring at the woman, Hanzo’s eyes fell on the top of a patch on her arm. A white and orange circle? Trying to zoom in, the patch was cut off. 

“Hanzo?”

“Lena? Lena… Does she go by any nicknames?” Hanzo asked, quietly.

“Yeah, a couple… Why?”

“Is she famous or something? I just feel like I have seen her before. But only vaguely.”

Emily glanced around. “I’m not really supposed to say, but… I’ll tell you later, promise. Actually maybe when Lena comes back to visit next month, she can tell you, okay?”

“Is it bad?”

“No, just a secret that I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone else about. I trust you Hanzo, I do, I just can’t do that to Lena.”

“I understand.”

“Do you think she knows you from before?”

“i doubt it. You’ve talked about me with her before and she has never mentioned anything.”

Emily nodded. “That’s true. I feel like she couldn’t know that many Hanzos.”

“Come, let us go to lunch. No sense dwelling on it.”

“Good attitude! Also, I’m starving!”


	9. Hanamura

“Genji, what do you think?”

“I’ll enter in over the gate. Hana, you and Master keep watch here. McCree, I’ll tell you when the security camera is out.”

“Alright, we’re going for a quick in and out. Try not to show off too much, Genji,” Jesse said into the comm.

“Camera is out.”

Hana charged her meka into the giant gates, opening them easily. Slipping in, Jesse made sure to push them back a little to not be as suspicious.

“I’m in. Where we headed?”

“The… the central building,” Genji stuttered, sounding tired.

“Genji, you alright?” McCree asked, already heading towards the center.

“Fine, just…” Genji coughed, his voice sounding strained.

“What’s your location? Do you need me to go back and get Zenyatta?”

“Side balcony of the central room…” Genji continued coughing. 

“Damnit.” Jesse took off in a sprint, ducking past guards as he headed outside. Sure enough, Genji was kneeling on the outside balcony. Rushing over to him, Jesse could feel his whole body was shaking.

“Genji? Genji what’s wrong?”

“My whole body… aches. I feel like I’m being torn in half.”

“Come on, we’ll come back later,” Jesse slipped his arm under Genji’s armpits, heaving him upwards.

“No! No, we have to stay!” Genji hissed at him.

“Why?”

“I think I’m remembering! If we leave, I might not get any memories back.”

“You’re in pain. This is stupid. The guards could come find us and you’re in no condition to fight.”

“Aghhhhh. Please, just let me meditate on this for a few minutes. Let me try and remember,” Genji plead desperately.

“Fine, you get five minutes until I call Hana to come pick us up.”

“Keep watch.”

Jesse moved to stand next to the balcony’s entrance, glancing down the stares. No guards seemed to be in the room at least.

Sitting down, Genji seemed to struggle to keep his shoulders upright. Every passing second he seemed to be hit by another invisible force trying to knock him down.

“No… Please no… I’m sorry. Don’t do this! Don’t! I don’t want to…! Brother!”

Jesse startled at Genji’s shouting. About to tell him to quiet down, Jesse jumped when Genji fell backwards.

Running, Jesse glanced at him. “Genji? Genji?” Shaking his shoulder, Genji didn’t respond.

“Hana, there’s trouble. Come pick us up, we’re on an outside balcony. Fly around until you see us,” Jesse shouted into his communicator.

“Got it!”

Lifting Genji’s body up onto his shoulder, Jesse headed to the rail. Spotting a green glow, he jumped.

Catching the pair of them, Hana slowly lowered them all to the ground.

“What happened? Is anyone hurt?” Zenyatta’s voice rang out from Jesse’s comm.

“We’’ll meet you at the ship. I don’t know what just happened,” Jesse responded.

Readjusting himself and Genji atop Hana’s meka, she slowly flew them back to the ship where Zenyatta was waiting.

“What happened to Genji?” Hana asked as she jumped out. Setting his body on a chair, Jesse frowned.

“He was acting really weird as soon as we entered. Sounded like he was tired or something. Then, when we got to that balcony, his whole body just seemed to give up. He could barely sit up straight.”

“Why did you not retreat sooner?” Zenyatta asked, checking Genji’s pulse and breathing. 

“Genji wanted to stay. He said he thought he’d remember something.”

“Did he remember anything?” Zenyatta asked, removing Genji’s face mask. Genji’s face showed that even after passing out, he was still struggling with something. His face was covered in sweat, eyebrows pushed together, and mouth pressed into a hard line. 

“All I heard was him shouting for someone not to do something. He was kinda pleading and then he shouted brother,” Jesse explained.

“Brother? Do you think our person is Genji’s brother?” Hana asked, hopping up and down, “That would explain so much! Like why Genji’s missing so many memories from his childhood!”

“I suppose, but…” Zenyatta sighed, glancing down at his student.

“But what?” Jesse asked, crossing his arms. When he’d realized their person was his husband, he’d suddenly started feeling more protective and more desperate to find him.

“Why would memories of his brother cause so much pain that Genji would faint?” Zenyatta questioned.

“Because my brother was a monster.”

The entire group startled as Genji sat up.

“What do you mean?” Jesse asked slowly.

“My brother is the reason I’m only half-human. He did this to me, I know it,” Genji quietly growled out.

“There’s no way that’s possible,” Jesse spit out.

Genji rose and glared at McCree. “Really? Than explain to me why I look like this. That monster did this. We will be better off not finding him. Someone that would try to kill their own brother doesn't deserve to have one!” Genji shouted. Storming away, the group heard a door shut further in the ship.

“What do we do?” Hana murmured. 

“We need to think about this carefully,” Zenyatta advised, leading the pair to the table. 

“If his brother really did that to him, should we stop?” Jesse questioned, taking his hat off to scratch at his scalp.

“No. No, we can’t,” Hana said, “The person who I miss, they wouldn’t do that. When I think about him, I picture someone kind, not like what Genji said at all.”

“Also consider what we have learned about him from you Jesse,” Zenyatta added, nodding to the cowboy.

“What? That I think he’s my husband?”

“Precisely. Your lost memories are all more recent, correct?”

“Yeah, from probably the last few years.”

“So, you believe that you knew Genji before I did and before you knew his brother?”

“Yep. Knew Genji back during my Blackwatch days. He was an angry asshole back before he met you.”

“Do you remember why he was angry?”

“Cause… Cause of whatever made him have to be treated by Angela…” Jesse murmured, just barely remembering the details.

“Exactly. If Genji’s brother is responsible for his condition, than we have a better understanding of what has been lost. At some point before Genji was saved by Angela, he fought with his brother. This fight resulted in the anger that would eventually lead Genji on his quest to find inner peace with myself as his master. After Genji and I joined Overwatch, Genji’s brother met you and married you,” Zenyatta explained.

Hana’s eyes lit up as she smacked the table. “Oh! Genji must’ve forgiven his brother at some point then! Because there’s no way Jesse would have met him if he hadn’t joined Overwatch, which we know he did because of all the weird stuff at base!”

“Yes. You have been Genji’s friend for so long, that I would find it impossible to believe that you would marry his brother without some form of approval or consent from Genji,” Zenyatta said.

Jesse sat stunned for a moment. “So… This means…”

“Even though Genji is mad right now, he’s forgiven his brother in the past! We can’t give up looking for him!” Hana cheered. 

“How do we explain all of this to Genji though?” Jesse asked, raising an eyebrow at Zenyatta. “You wanna give it another go? Apparently whatever you did worked the first time.”

Zenyatta chuckled before nodding. “I will talk with him. Meanwhile, we should move on to the next location. I believe we have gathered all the information we need here.” Floating away, he disappeared into the back of the ship.

“So, we going to Lijiang next? It’s closest,” Hana asked, standing up and walking towards the front.

“Yeah, might as well. Do you really think it is a good idea for us to keep looking?”

“Absolutely. I trust him. I know it,” Hana said, giving him a thumbs up.

“Well, let’s see what else we find out. He’s proving to be more and more interesting.”


	10. Lijiang

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -All past convos are gonna be italicized cause i think that'll make it a little easier to understand what's going on.

_“Hey archer, mind if I talk to you?” Jesse called out as they finished packing the last box. The mission in Lijiang had been a resounding success, to the slight annoyance of the cowboy. He mostly didn’t want to admit that the ease of getting the supplies was due to finally having a sniper to keep watch. Pharah and Genji had been getting spread too thin lately, so there was some benefit to having someone else to watch out for the group from higher ground. But Jesse mostly thought their new member was being a show off. Did he really need to snipe every enemy before Jesse? It seemed like he had been targeting the one’s closest to the cowboy on purpose. Probably so Jesse wouldn’t have any fun._

_The other man glanced up frowning, but followed the cowboy out of the ship. Walking a little away from the rest of the group, Jesse finally turned back to him._

_“Uh, good shooting back there.”_

_“Thank-you.”_

_“So handy with that bow, I might be getting some competition in the practice range finally.”_

_“You called me out here to compliment me?”_

_“Yeah, I guess.”_

_“If you are just going to waste my time-“_

_“Okay fine. I wanted to apologize.”_

_“Hm?”_

_Scratching the back of his neck, Jesse looked past the other. “I shouldn’t have said those things the other day. Look if Genji’s okay with you being here, I’ll learn to be too.”_

_The other crossed his arms. “Why the sudden change in attitude? You made your disgust apparent.”_

_“Because I realized I can’t very well be on guard from both sides. It’ll be easier for us both if we can just agree to trust each other on the battlefield. Outside of that, I don’t care what we decide on.”_

_“Genji is making you say all this?”_

_“What? No, no. Look, when I was a teenager I was in a pretty rough gang. A kid hanging out with a bunch of murderers. Had to watch my back every second cause I never knew when one of them was gonna decide they didn’t much care for me. I lived through thinking everyone was out to get me and I don’t think I wanna do that anymore.”_

_“You are scared of me. That is the only reason you want this truce.”_

_Jesse ’s eye twitched and his hand hovered over Peacekeeper. “Hell no, you wanna…?” He paused when he noticed the look on the other man’s face. He was smirking?_

_“Very well, you can rest assured that I have no plans to kill you. Would be too easy for my liking.” With that, the archer turned and gave a lazy wave back at the cowboy._

_“That son of a-“_

“He’s a cocky shit,” Jesse announced, eyes shooting open. Hana laughed and glanced up from her game.

“That’s all you got?”

“We’ve been here in Lijiang for two days. All of us are just getting fragments, we should move on,” Genji said, walking into the room.

“Did anything else come back to you?” Jesse asked Genji.

“I… Just him apologizing,” Genji sighed, going to sit by Hana. “I’m beginning to think that the only memories I will have of him are either traumatic or him apologizing. There’s been nothing else.”

“Well, maybe you two didn’t hang out much?” Hana said.

“Did you get anything?”

“He likes chocolate cake,” Hana replied.

“That’s it?” Jesse laughed.

“Yeah, I think I was buying him his birthday cake or something? I just remember saying to Lucio, ‘I know we’re in Lijiang on a mission, but we gotta get Ha…” Hana paused, eyebrows pushing together. Blinking at her screen, she turned it off. “His name was… I can remember saying it so much. I know his name it’s… it’s Ha-“ Shaking her head, she closed her eyes. “Think. Think. H… A… What’s the next letter?”

Jesse crossed his arms and listened to her mumbling. She sounded so close, but nothing was coming to him.

_“If you keep shooting like that, gonna start calling you cupid, darlin’.”_

_“Do not.”_

The faint voice in the back of his head growled, but Jesse couldn’t help his soft chuckle. Seeing the memories, hearing faint conversations, getting pieces back, it was all beginning to be pretty normal for the group. Every time Jesse closed his eyes he swore he could see the blurry outline of the man.

“Perhaps, we should move on to the location?” Zenyatta asked as he floated in. “The coordinates for Nepal have already been entered. It will be nice to visit home for even a small bit of time. However, I do not mean to rush. Would any of you like to stay longer?”

“No, I’ll just rip my hair out trying to think of names. Turn off the auto-pilot, I feel like piloting tonight,” Hana said, as she stood up and stretched.

“You three, try and figure out names that start with Ha.”

“Hana.” Jesse offered.

“Not funny cowboy!” She called back as she left.

_“Why’d the young members seem to like you better? You’re the grumpy one.”_

_“Do not sulk. Everyone here likes you. They merely invited me because I am actually able to keep up with them when they play video games.”_

_“Not my fault I didn't grow up playing games. Too busy out on the streets in a-“_

_“Bragging about your gang days does not impress any of them anymore. They have heard all your stories.”_

_“Then what do you suggest?”_

_“Come with us and stop sulking about being a bad shot in a game.”_

_“I was still learning the controls and we both know it’s cheating to be on Hana’s team! Also, I’m not sulking.”_

_“You are, but it is nice to see that I am not always the sulking one.”_

_“Fine, I’ll cheer up, but just to keep things in order. Though, maybe I’ll have fun just watching you play. It is pretty sexy when you get all fired up.”_

_“Keep control of yourself.”_

_“How can I when you’re around?”_

_“You are impossible.”_

_“Impossibly in love with you.”_

Opening his eyes, Jesse could almost see the eye roll and feel the soft kiss that he knew he had forgotten about. “Cocky asshole, but I guess that’s what made him my type,” Jesse murmured under his breath, wide smile plastered on his face as the ship began to rise.


	11. Nepal

“Sorry we won’t be able to stop for longer Zenyatta.”

“It is alright. Our mission comes first, but it does feel nice to be home,” the monk responded, floating out of the ship.

The group stared out at the snow-covered cliffs. The monastery was higher up the mountain than where they had landed, with its outline just barely visible from where they stood.

Hana quietly walked forward, hands wrapped around herself to keep warm. “I don’t think it’ll be easy finding anything about him here.”

“You still working on the name?” Jesse asked, handing her his serape. She smiled at him, but didn’t take the offering.

“I’m closer, I can tell. I’ll stay here and guard the ship.”

“Genji, why don’t you and Zenyatta head further up. I’ll poke around the town some.”

Nodding to each other, the group split up.

The town was quiet, not many people walking around in the cold weather. Jesse smiled as he watched a few children running around, tossing snowballs. Slowly walking along the path, he finally stopped at what looked like a bar.

Stepping inside, he nodded at the barkeeper. An omnic, but that wasn’t unusual to see here. All of Nepal seemed to be the perfect place for omnics to coexist, which was why Jesse never minding coming back here for missions.

“Would you like anything to drink?”

“Got anything hot?” Jesse asked, as he settled into a booth.

“Yes, would you like something alcoholic?”

“Sure, but not too strong. Gotta get going in a bit.”

“I can prepare some heated sake for you?”

Jesse paused, not sure why, but that sounded nice. “Yeah, I’ll have that, thanks.”

Placing the hot drink in front of him, the bartender nodded at Jesse before going to help a new customer.

Staring down at the cup, Jesse tentatively took a sip.

_“You are drinking it wrong.”_

_“How could I be drinking wrong?”_

_“You should sip it. Enjoy it,” the other explained, but with no bite to his words. His smile gave away his amusement more than any other emotion._

_“Darlin’, I already am enjoying myself far too much for my way of drinking to have much’ve an effect.”_

_The other set his cup down, hands falling onto his knees. “So, you are enjoying yourself?”_

_“Of course, how could I not be when I’m with you?” Jesse smiled, giving the other a wink._

_“I am glad. I have been unsure for a while as to how genuine your recent kindness has been. Do not be mistaken, I appreciate it! I just felt the need to confirm that you were not merely pretending as to placate the group.”_

_“You thought I was pretending to get along with you?”_

_The man nodded, looking down at his hands. “After your initial hostility, I sincerely believed that you would continue to hate me indefinitely. When we talked before about battlefield trust, I did not anticipate you becoming kinder off the battlefield as well.”_

_Scratching the back of his head, Jesse sighed. “Look, I was thinking about how I acted when you first joined. It wasn’t right and maybe for a little while I did just kinda pretend to get along with you to ease guilt. But after all the pretending, I guess at some point it stopped being fake. I don’t know when, but I hit a point where I genuinely looked forward to us training together or going on missions together. Maybe it didn’t start out the best, but I honestly and truly want to get to know you better. I want to spend time with you, so hope that clears up your confusion.”_

_Nodding, the other man lifted his drink back up with a smile. “Thank-you.”_

_“You don’t gotta be thanking me,” Jesse said, as he raised his own glass, clinking it against the other’s._

_As they sat drinking, the cool night air picked up. By the end of the night, the pair had taken to leaning against each other, both a little tipsier than they thought they’d be._

_“You know, I nearly shit myself when you first summoned those dragons of your’s? Absolutely terrified me, seeing those come out of the wall,” Jesse said, laughing as he took another sip._

_He felt the other laughing quietly beside him. “I am surprised that something could scare you!”_

_“What? Darlin’ I’m scared of plenty of stuff.”_

_“Like what?”_

_“Scorpions.”_

_“What? Why?”_

_“One sucker chased me down when I was a kid, terrified the hell outta me. Guess I still keep some of that in me.”_

_“So you fear dragons coming out of walls and scorpions?”_

_“Yeah and board meetings, going to jail, losing my hat…”_

_“These are quite interesting fears.”_

_“You.”_

_The man beside him froze, gazing up at the cowboy. “What?”_

_Jesse felt his face flush, but he couldn’t tell how much of it was from the alcohol. “Look I, maybe we should head in for the night?” He stood up, pulling the other man up with him. “We should probably get some sleep.” Jesse turned, ready to run._

_“So, you don’t trust me?” the other man asked quietly behind him._

_Turning, Jesse gripped the other’s shoulders. Gazing into his eyes, Jesse resisted the urge to lean in. “I trust you.”_

_“Than why are you afraid of me?”_

_“Because who couldn’t be afraid of you? You are so powerful and smart and you,” Jesse’s voice faltered, dropping in volume to a whisper. “you could do so much better than spend your time with me.”_

_“What do you mean? I enjoy spending time with you.”_

_“But what about when you decide you don’t? I’ve already seen it, you’re becoming friends with more and more of the people here. You’re gonna pick one of them over me one of these days and I don’t blame you. Who would pick me?” Jesse’s hands dropped. Standing in silence, he turned away._

_“Do you really think so poorly of yourself?”_

_Jesse chuckled. “I’ve had too much to drink. I’m going inside.”_

_Before he could take a step, a hand wrapped around his wrist. “I have the same fear as you. Why would you ever choose to spend your time with a traitor? And yet, here you are. I am afraid when you leave because I do not know if you will remember my past and decide to never return. I am afraid when you stray from the group and I do not know if you are alright. I am afraid when you…”_

_Jesse gripped his chin and the back of his neck, pulling the other man close, tilting his face up to look at him. “Thank-you.” The kiss was just a peck and after pulling away, Jesse immediately moved to rest his head on the other’s shoulder._

_“Shhhh, Jesse it is alright. Shhhhhh,” the other murmured into his ear, rubbing comforting circles onto Jesse’s back. “I am here.”_

_“My blubbering not scaring you away darlin’?”_

_The other man chuckled. “Of course not. I will not be scared by you anymore. Come, we should go to bed.”_

_“Thank-you, Hanzo.”_


	12. St. Petersburg

“Should we even bother looking here? Athena said there’s no one with his name here,” Hana murmured from behind him.

Jesse turned back to glance at her before sighing. “We don’t know if he’s even using the same name. He could very well be going by a completely different name or be hiding.”

“He was a trained assassin, I doubt that that went away,” Genji added as he walked up to them, Zenyatta floating close behind.

“You two are gonna have to stay on the ship. They’re not exactly friendly to omnics or anything like 'em around here.”

The pair nodded, while Hana lifted her hood to conceal her face more. “So, just a quick walk around and meet back up for dinner?”

“You walk around the city, I’m gonna try and get closer to Volskaya. Zarya said I should have no problem if I stay on the main road.”

“Be safe, both of you,” Zenyatta said.

“We’ll be fine, see ya later.”

_“We’ll be fine, nothing but a little frosty air,” Jesse said, shaking as he tried to light up his cigar._

_“Do you have to do that here?” Hanzo hissed out, turning his face away._

_“I’m sorry darlin’, but it's colder than… than I don’t even know what! Just gotta try and keep some heat while we wait for them to pick us up.”_

_“We are in an enclosed space with poor ventilation and we do not know how long we are going to be in here. I would appreciate our little clean air remaining clean.”_

_“Fine, fine.” Jesse stuffed the cigar back into his pack and settled onto the floor, knees pulled close for warmth._

_Glancing down at him, Hanzo seemed to consider something for a moment before sliding down to sit as well. His legs tucked underneath him, he closed his eyes and seemed to be meditating._

_The two sat in silence for what could’ve been one hour or twenty, Jesse had no way of knowing. All he knew was that he was bored and getting anxious about their situation. Too anxious to stay quiet._

_“So, Hanzo… Are those prosthetics or your legs?”_

_The archer opened his eyes and raised his eyebrows in confusion. “What?”_

_“Your legs, are they real?” Jesse gestured at them, with his metal hand for emphasis._

_“Yes? Why do you ask?”_

_“You always got those metal wrappings around them, was just wonderin’ if it was some kinda fancy piece since I’ve never seen you without them.”_

_The pair had been dating for about a month, but Jesse still felt like he knew barely anything about Hanzo. This question, which had been bothering him from even before they started, was as good a place as any to start he assumed._

_“They are shoes that assist in my climbing and are discreet. I cannot wear ridiculously loud footwear like some people,” he glanced at Jesse’s spurs with a smirk._

_Rolling his eyes, the cowboy chuckled. “Can’t leave out the spurs! They’re part of the package deal.”_

_“What other deals are available?” Hanzo asked, voice even._

_“Don’t try to wound me darlin’. Also, don’t try to deflect. I wasn’t trained by Blackwatch to just know fancy ways to shoot a gun, I know what you’re doing.”_

_Hanzo’s shoulders tensed before he looked away. “I feel better when they are on…”_

_“Why?”_

_Sighing, Hanzo glanced up for a second before glancing back down. “They conceal a part of myself that I am ashamed of.”_

_“Look, everyone’s got things they don’t like about their bodies. You havin’ thin ankles is nothing to fuss about.”_

_“That is not the problem!” Hanzo snapped, causing Jesse to jump. The archer’s fingers gripped tightly at his knees, knuckles turning white. His jaw was clenched, but his shoulder’s seemed to dip down in defeat._

_Slowly, Jesse crawled over to sit against the same wall as Hanzo. Letting his shoulder just barely brush against the archer’s, Jesse rested his hand atop Hanzo's. “I’m sorry I pushed too far, I didn't know it was something painful. We don’t gotta talk about it if you don’t want to.”_

_A few deep breaths and Hanzo repositioned himself so his legs were out in front of him, instead of tucked underneath. Hands shaking, he pushed open the clasps at his knees. Undoing two more concealed clasps, he slid the metal away from his legs._

_The bare skin was slightly pink from the cold, but that wasn’t what Jesse noticed first. Delicately, he ran a single thumb over the largest scar on Hanzo’s ankle. Wrapping around the entire ankle, it was mirrored perfectly on his other._

_“Chains?” Jesse guessed quietly._

_“Yes.”_

_“Who…” His fingers glided just above Hanzo’s skin. The scars around his ankles were the deepest, but there was several more scars trailing up the archer’s legs._

_“The Shimada elders.”_

_Jesse’s hand froze. “They… they…”_

_“After what I did to Genji, they began to fear me. They saw how… unstable I became after the fight. I believe they intended to scare me into submission, but they were mistaken.”_

_“How long?” Jesse asked through gritted teeth._

_“Two months.”_

_“They kept you chained up like an animal for two months?” Each word was said slowly, rage seeping through Jesse with each one._

_“Yes.”_

_“I’m gonna kill those fucking bastards.”_

_“No, you can’t,” Hanzo replied, sounded strangely calm._

_“Why not?” Jesse growled out, face shooting up to finally look at Hanzo’s. The archer had a distant look in his eyes, like he wasn’t really there._

_“Because I already killed all of them.”_

_Arms shot out to pull Hanzo against his chest. Jesse hid his face in the other’s hair, trying to calm his breathing. “Good. That’s good. If they’d been alive, you don’t wanna know what I would’ve done to them.” As the anger began to subside, it was replaced with sadness._

_“Jesse, calm down. The scars do bother me, but I merely hid them so that Genji would not know. I did not want them to upset anyone.”_

_“You were just gonna hide them from me forever?”_

_“No, but I did not know how to explain them to you.”_

_“What do you mean?” Jesse leaned back so he could watch Hanzo’s face._

_Frowning, the archer reached out a hand to cup Jesse’s cheek. “I knew they would upset you, but I also did not want you to be mad at me.”_

_“What?”_

_“I let myself be chained up. I could have escaped the night they captured me, but I stayed,” Hanzo whispered._

_“You let them torture you?” Jesse backed away until he his back hit the opposite wall._

_Reaching out a hand towards him, Hanzo pulled it back and sighed. “I was a monster. Monsters do not deserve freedom.”_

_“Hanzo you…”_

_“The only reason I escaped was because I did not want them to continue to use me as a figurehead. Why do you think all the scars are on my legs? They are so easy to hide, especially when I would be seated behind a desk. They would wheel me out to conduct a deal and then lock me back up. It was with incredible difficulty that I was able to escape.”_

_“Why did they even bother keeping you alive?”_

_“Because they are built on tradition. I am positive they were grooming one of my younger relatives to replace me once I became too much of a hassle, but they needed to use me. Genji’s death and then mine would have been a signal to other clans of the turmoil. Continuing to use me presented a clan that was still in control.”_

_“You were a puppet.”_

_“Yes.”_

_“I… I lost my arm when I was in Blackwatch.”_

_Hanzo’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What?”_

_“Mission gone wrong. Wasn’t supposed to be anywhere near that building. It just exploded, no warning or nothing. Thought I was gonna die.”_

_“Jesse…”_

_“Got back to base. Told me there was no saving it. I was just glad to be alive.”_

_Crawling forward, Jesse stopped to sit in front of Hanzo. Lifting one boot, he slid it back onto the other man. Sliding the other one on, Jesse placed a kiss on Hanzo’s knee. “I’m glad you survived that hell. I’m so glad you’re alive and that I got to meet you. You don’t have to be ashamed of showing me your scars, but you also don’t ever need to feel pressured to share everything. I’ll be patient with you, as long as you can continue to put up with me.”_

_Placing both of his hands on Jesse’s cheeks, Hanzo pulled the cowboys face to his. The desperate kiss was mixed with tears, but neither minded. The cold didn’t seem so bad anymore, not as they held onto each other._


	13. Eichenwalde

“It’s rather chilly today.”

Hanzo nodded as he adjusted his scarf. “Yes, but it is only going to continue to get cooler.”

“Sooooooo, I have a question,” Emily murmured, batting her eyelashes at the man.

“No.”

Puffing out her cheeks, she frowned. “Fine and after all I’ve done for you!”

“Stop being so dramatic,” Hanzo sighed, “fine, go ahead.”

“Yay! Okay, so hear me out. You already know I’m gonna be gone for the holidays to visit Lena.”

“Yes?”

“What if you came with?” Emily asked slowly, watching Hanzo’s face for a hint of expression.

“I do not think that would be a good idea.”

“What? Why not?”

“I would rather not be a third wheel.”

Emily chuckled. “No, that’s the perfect part! Like a bunch of her friends and I are going to go hang out on like a vacation! She even got us all tickets to a Lucio concert!”

“She got everyone tickets? Is he not extremely expensive?” Hanzo questioned, eyebrows raised.

“Oh he totally is, but somehow Lena knows him and got us all tickets.”

“I still am not sure if…”

“Hanzo. Please come,” Emily stopped walking and gripped his arm.

“Why?”

She sighed. “Okay so, I’m nervous. I’ve only ever met one of Lena’s coworkers and he isn’t going to the concert. So it’s gonna be this big group of people who I don’t know and like I would just feel better if I had someone to travel with getting there and like someone to talk to when Lena is busy. And I don’t want her friends like judging me, thinking I’m just some lonely girl who waits around with no friends of my own.”

“Emily I am sure none of them would think that.”

“Still, I just would feel so much better if you were also there.”

“And who am I supposed to take to when you are busy?” Hanzo challenged.

“Lena told me a lot of the group was single, maybe we could hook you up with someone?” Emily raised her eyebrows, a devious smirk on her face.

“I thought you wanted me to come,” Hanzo replied, face deadpan.

“Ugh, come on. I don’t think it would be bad for you to maybe get a date. No memories have come back yet and you gotta start moving forward eventually.”

“I have moved on. I have a job now…”

“Which is just working part-time at where I work. Seriously Hanzo, you can’t run away forever. Stop fighting me on this.”

Hanzo froze, eyelids suddenly feeling heavy. _“You can’t run away forever, brother. Stop fighting this.”_

“Hey, hey Hanzo. You okay?”

Blinking his eyes open, Hanzo was leaning against a wall. Emily was standing in front of him, inspecting his face.

“Sorry, I do not know what came over me.”

“It’s fine. But about the trip?”

“Where is the concert?” Hanzo asked, trying to focus on Emily instead of the strange buzzing in his ears.

“Um Numbani.”

“Well at least it will be warm when we go.”

“Wait, you’re going?” Emily’s eyes lit up.

“Yes, it does sound like fun.”

“Oh it is going to be great! I can’t wait to introduce you to Lena in person! And the concert is going to be so much fun. Do you think we should buy Lucio shirts to wear to the concert? Or is that like too much?”

“You are a big fan?”

Emily nodded. “Well, not a huge fan. I own all his songs and went to one concert before, but never got around to buying a shirt.”

“Where was the other concert you went to?” Feeling better, Hanzo motioned for them to continue walking to the apartment.

“Oh okay, so get this. It was like in an open field outside of Stuttgart.”

“Stuttgart?”

“Germany. So it was located near the town of Eichenwalde, which was a town majorly hit by the invasion. The concert was like Lucio and some other artists raising money to preserve the town’s castle I believe…”

Emily’s talking began to fade into a distant murmur.

_“You must feel right at home here, eh darlin’?”_

_“What are you talking about?”_

_“You know, prince feeling at home in a castle,” the man's voice replied through the earpiece._

_“How many times have I told you that I am not a prince,” Hanzo pinched the bridge of his nose, agitated. “Now please get back to your look out duties.”_

_“Oh I’ve certainly not stopped looking since you got up there.”_

_“Je-“_

“Okay, you need to rest,” Emily pushed Hanzo towards his room. “You need anything?”

“No, I- it’s just a headache. I will be fine.”

“Okay, I’m going to call Lena and tell her you’re going. Make sure to tell me if you are getting sick!”

Hanzo fell onto his bed, ears buzzing again. Who was that man?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long for an update, but here it is!


	14. Ilios

“So we only have about a week and a half left before we get yelled at to return, right?” Hana asked as they walked through the quiet street.

Jesse nodded. “Yep, but if Jack thinks we are gonna stop looking without finding him, he’s nuts.”

“Maybe Hanzo will find us?”

“That would sure be helpful. Not being allowed to use up Athena to search everywhere has made this close to impossible.”

“There’s no way we won’t find him. I’m sure he’s worried sick.”

“If he remembers,” Jesse sighed.

The pair reached an intersection in the road. “Wanna split up? I’ll go through more of the town and you take that road to the beach?’

“Yeah, sure. We’re all meeting back in the ship in an hour, don’t forget.”

“Got it!” Hana gave a small wave before disappearing past a building.

Settling into a slow pace, Jesse smiled at the happy families all running off to spend time on the beach. Taking his hat off, he fanned himself with it, finally feeling the heat. Settling into some grass shaded by a large tree, he slid down to sit. He felt like he could see the whole beach from where he sat, but he was just far enough away that the crashing waves were a murmur.

_“Don’t like the ocean?”_

_Hanzo sighed, standing up quickly. “No.” He began walking back towards the town._

_“Come on, darlin’, you really gonna stay mad at me all day?”_

_“I asked to be left alone,” Hanzo replied, quickening his pace. Jesse sped up, staying just a couple feet behind._

_“And I told you that was a stupid idea.”_

_“Leave me alone, McCree.”_

_“No, you know what, I’m not gonna leave you alone! You have been running from me all day and avoiding me for the last month. I at least deserve to know why,” Jesse shouted at him._

_Hanzo stopped, hands tightening into fists. Jesse stared at his tensed back and high shoulders._

_“I am leaving Overwatch.”_

_Gripping his shoulder, Jesse spun Hanzo to look at him. “What the fuck? No you aren’t!”_

_“I… I need to leave,” Hanzo replied, staring at the ground._

_“Hanzo why?”_

_“It has not gotten any better. I thought… I thought if I kept trying to be on better terms with Genji and that by being with you… No, this is my problem. It has nothing to do with you.”_

_Jesse’s hand dropped from Hanzo’s shoulder. “Hanzo, please tell me what’s wrong.”_

_“Every time we go on a mission, I fail it seems.”_

_“What?”_

_“Someone is always getting hurt and I just, I need to do better, but I fail.”_

_Jesse frowned. “Hanzo, it isn’t your fault when someone gets hurt.”_

_“No. No, that is not the problem. I feel worthless because I need to do more to deserve to be here.”_

_“What are you talking about?”_

_Finally, Hanzo raised his gaze from the dirt to look at Jesse. “No one wanted me to join. No one felt comfortable being on a team with Genji’s almost murderer. I have to prove my loyalty, I have to prove my worth or else…”_

_“Hanzo, no. No, you don’t! The team loves you, what are you talking about? No one wants you off the team.”_

_“No, but they will,” Hanzo forced out a chuckle, “I am disposable.”_

_Clenching his shoulders, Jesse gave the other man a shake. “What are you talking about?”_

_Hanzo laughed again. “The elders were right.”_

_“Hanzo, I’m taking you to Ang. Something isn’t right.”_

_“Do you want to know something? Before I ever hurt Genji I used to wish to be free. I used to want to have a different life. I wished every night to wake up and not be Hanzo Shimada anymore. After I thought I killed Genji, the wish changed. I wanted to die. Now, that I know he is alive, I can not help going back to my original wish.”_

_“Hanzo none of what you’ve said has made any sense. Everyone here loves you, you don’t have to prove anything, Genji is fine, and you don’t have to leave.”_

_Frowning at Jesse, Hanzo was quiet for a moment. “I have not been sleeping well recently. That is likely the problem,” he said, finally sounding like himself._

_Jesse let out a sigh of relief. “Yeah, yeah. We’re gonna head inside and get you some rest, okay?”_

_Eyes drooping shut, Hanzo nodded. “I am still leaving. After I rest.”_

_“No, you aren’t.”_

_Leaning against Jesse, Hanzo chuckled. “Yes.”_

_“Look, you’re just tired. Come on, you need me to carry you to base?”_

_“You know this conversation never happened, right?” Hanzo said, suddenly voice sounding deeper, echoing._

_“What?” Jesse froze, glancing down at Hanzo._

_Hanzo’s eyes flashed blue, his tattoo glowing. A strange smile twisted on his face. “But it was something he thought of every day. Have you ever considered that we did Hanzo a favor? That maybe Hanzo is happier now? Do you think maybe he is able to sleep peacefully now, not knowing what he did to his brother? Not being burdened with the memories of his torture of his pain?”_

_“I…I.”_

_“What are you willing to give up for the man you love to be happy? Healthy?”_

Jesse’s eyes opened slowly, his whole body was shaking. “Anything.”


	15. Cairo

“You aren’t going to go look today?” Genji asked when Jesse sat back down on his bed.

“No.”

“Jesse, we only have a week left to find him,” Hana said.

“You all go, I’m not feeling well.”

“Do you require my assistance?” Zenyatta asked, floating closer to the cowboy.

Jesse held up his hand to stop the monk. “No, just… I’ve been thinking.”

“About?”

“What if Hanzo doesn’t want to be found?”

Hana groaned. “You aren’t allowed to suddenly back out in the last week! We’re finding him!”

“But, what if he is happier now? He gets to live a life without remembering what he did to Genji or his awful childhood.”

“But what is he is not happier now?” Zenyatta asked.

“What?” Jesse lifted his head to look at him.

“You have no way of knowing if the current Hanzo is happier. He could very well be suffering because he can not remember.”

“I guess,” Jesse replied quietly.

“We’re all gonna go look now. We don’t have time to be debating this,” Hana said, exiting the room.

“You might not want to look for him, but we’re all still going to. We’ll be back later,” Genji said. Zenyatta followed him out of the room, closing the door behind them.

Burying his head in his hands, Jesse sighed. “I don’t know anymore.”

Standing up, he went to the kitchen. Grabbing two beers, he carried them over to the couch.

_“Are you alright?”_

_A nervous chuckle, but Jesse nodded. “Yeah, just thinking about some stuff darlin’.”_

_“Hope you do not strain yourself,” Hanzo said with a smirk as he sat on the couch next to him._

_“Ha ha, always such a comedian.”_

_“Really, what is wrong?” Hanzo asked, resting his hand on Jesse’s knee._

_“I don’t know. I don’t have a good feeling about that mission you’re going on next week.”_

_“The one to Cairo? We are merely going to be assisted security while the temple is being worked on.”_

_“Yeah, but this is a big deal. Those new researchers and scientists there are going to attract a lot of negative attention. There’s no way Talon isn’t gonna be all over that,” Jesse said._

_“I understand the risk, but it is our job.”_

_“Just wish I was going with you. Always feels better when we’re on the same team.”_

_Hanzo rested his head against Jesse’s shoulder. “We will be fine. I will always come back to you.”_

_“Always?” Jesse pulled back slightly so he could look at Hanzo’s face._

_The archer smiled softly. “It is what I vowed,” Hanzo said, raising his hand to show off his wedding band._

_“Still surprises me everyday that you did. Still thankful everyday that you did.”_

_“I should be the thankful one. I have never been as happy as I am now.”_

_Jesse wrapped his arm around Hanzo’s shoulders, pulling his husband closer. “You don’t know how much it means to hear you say that. Sometimes I think I’m the worst human on the planet, but knowing I can make you happy? Well, that just makes this life worth it.”_

Opening his eyes, Jesse glared at the two empty bottles. Was this memory even real?

Standing up, he walked outside the ship. It was getting late and the cold desert air woke him up a little. Sitting on the ship’s ramp, he gazed up at the moon, almost full.

_“Jesse.”_

_“Ang? What’s wrong?”_

_“The mission at Anubis, Talon attacked and-“_

_“What’s wrong?”_

_“They took Hanzo, we don’t know where.”_

_“I’m going.”_

_Angela nodded. “Lena’s preparing the ship, we’re going in ten minutes.”_

_“Have they left Cairo?” The pair headed down the hallway._

_“No reports of any air activity out of Cairo since they took him. We’ve monitored all vehicles, but it seems they are hiding somewhere near the area.”_

_“Any other injuries?”_

_“Some minor, but nothing that Zenyatta wasn’t able to mend when they returned back to the ship.”_

_“Are they already looking?”_

_“Yes. Fareeha is watching the air, Genji and Hana are watching the roads.”_

_“Wait, shouldn’t some one else be with them?”_

_“Satya established her turrets and she’s currently staying with the researchers as their protection.”_

Jesse’s hands shook as he took off his hat. Had they saved Hanzo from Talon? Was Hanzo currently being controlled by them?

_“The stars looks lovely tonight.”_

_“Not as lovely as you, sweetheart.”_

_A blanket was wrapped around Jesse’s shoulders. “Come back inside soon, okay?”_

_“I will.”_

_Hanzo paused in the doorway for a moment before turning. “I love you, cowboy.”_

_“Love you more,” Jesse called out, just barely hearing a distant chuckle._

_A few minutes passed before the soft sound of footsteps came from behind him._

_“Alright, back inside now,” Hanzo was now holding a freshly brewed cup of tea._

_Jesse laughed as he followed after the archer. “Thought you were the patient one?”_

_“I gave you five minutes, I was patient.”_

_Wrapping his arm around Hanzo’s waist, the two walked slowly towards their room. “Five minutes is not a long time.”_

_“One minute feels like an eternity when I am not with you,” Hanzo murmured, taking a small sip of tea._

_Flustered, Jesse merely kissed the top of Hanzo’s head, not having a witty response._

_“A dragon likes to keep its treasures close.”_

_“Well, so does this cowboy. Ain’t no greater treasure than you.”_

Standing, Jesse walked back into the ship. “I’m so sorry for giving up. I’ll find you soon, Hanzo. I promise.”


	16. Numbani

“Can’t wait to see everyone!” Hana said as she walked out of the bathroom. She had thrown on a Lucio band shirt and was currently tying up her hair. Fixing it in the large mirrored doors of the hotel room’s closet, she noticed Zenyatta float closer to her.

“Yes, it will be nice to see how the team is doing.”

“Really helps that Lucio is having the concert here in Numbani, so you do not have to worry about attending, Zen.”

“Are you two ready?” Hana asked, walking over to the small table in the corner. Genji and Jesse glanced up from the laptop they has been staring at.

“Yeah, just wanted to do a last sweep of some cameras in the area.”

“I kinda feel like Hanzo wasn’t much of a concert person,” Hana said.

Jesse shrugged. “Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t look. Where are we meeting up with the others?”

“Lucio got us backstage passes, so we have a back entrance we can go through.”

“Sounds good. Let’s all head over.”

Lucio had gotten them a large hotel room just across the street from the concert hall, so the walk was quick. The group smiled at the large crowd that had just begun to be allowed into the building. 

Hana kept her face ducked down and stood close behind Genji, avoiding being noticed by any of the people. They quickly made there way to the side of the building where a security guard was waiting.

“We’re Lucio’s guests,” Hana quickly handed him the backstage passes. Giving them a quick scan, he moved to the side, holding the door open for them.

“Enjoy the show. The waiting area is the third door on the right.”

Walking into the building, they could already hear sound checks were happening. Following the guard’s directions, Genji knocked on the door.

“Come in!” 

Opening the door, everyone was quickly pulled into hugs. 

“Yay everyone is here! Even you came this time big guy!” Hana said as she hugged Winston. 

“Yes, Lucio was kind enough to accommodate for me.”

“Where is he? Already on stage?”

Angela nodded. “He had to go get setup, but you will have plenty of time to catch up with him after the concert.”

“Oh, you guys! I want to introduce you to someone!” Lena said. A woman with long red hair was suddenly pulled closer to the center of the group.

“Hana. Jesse, Genji, Zenyatta,” Lena gestured to each of them with her hand, “this is my girlfriend Emily!”

“Nice to meet you all,” Emily said with a smile.

“Nice to meet you,” the four said back to her.

A knock at the door. A man wearing a headset peeked his head in.

“The concert is going to start soon if you would all like to come with me.”

The group followed him out to an open area just to the side of the stage. The giant crowd screaming as the group watched Lucio step up to his DJ booth. He gave a big wave to the audience and turned to give a thumbs up to his teammates.

For as much of Lucio’s music that Jesse heard when on missions or even just in base, this was the first time he was attending one of his concerts. It was overwhelming how much the music made his heart race and how the loud beat hit him. 

He noticed Emily whisper something to Lena before leaving the group. Thinking about how nice it would be to get a moment of quiet, he nudged Hana. 

“I’m gonna go grab a water from the break room. You want one?” he had to shout at her to be heard.

“Yeah! Thanks!” she shouted back.

Breaking away from the group, he quickly headed into the slightly quieter break room. To his surprise, Emily was standing in the room on the phone.

Jesse gave her a slight nod. “Just grabbing some water,” he explained.

She nodded in understanding at him. “Oh yeah, I heard you. Sorry. But are you sure you’re doing better? I can head back tonight.” 

Jesse had to move around some stuff in the fridge. Apparently water wasn’t a priority, but had been pushed into the back.

“If you’re sure. Yeah. I’ll talk to you later, Bye.” 

“Everything okay?” Jesse asked as he finally managed to grab the two bottles.

She sighed. “My friend was supposed to come to the concert today, but he hasn’t been feeling well. He’s been getting these really bad migraines, so a concert filled with loud music just didn’t seem like a good idea.”

“Has he went and seen a doctor yet?”

“No, he’s too stubborn. Plus it would be kinda difficult for him.”

“He doesn’t like hospitals?”

Emily frowned. “No, nothing like that. It’s just, ummm, I don’t really know if I should be sharing this, but he kinda has been having memory problems. And I think he’s scared that doctors might find something worse than just bad migraines.”

Jesse paused and stared at her. “Memory problems?”

“Yeah, he’s not able to remember a bunch of his life. I’m really worried, but he won’t go to the hospital and I can’t force him.”

“Emily, what is your friend’s name? What does he look like?” Jesse asked slowly.

She looked surprised, but she pulled out her phone. Swiping through her phone, she suddenly held it out to him. A man was looking to the side, obviously unaware the picture was being taken. His hair was pulled up into a tight ponytail and his muscular arms were crossed tightly against his chest as he leaned against a brick wall. An intricate blue tattoo decorated the entirety of one of his arms. “This is Hanzo. Do you know him?”

Jesse’s hand shook at he gingerly took the phone. Staring at the screen, he couldn’t help letting out a laugh. “He’s alive. He’s okay.”

“So, you do know him?”

Nodding, Jesse smiled up at her. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. Where is he?”

“Back at my apartment in England.”

“Okay I’m gonna need the address now.”

Emily quickly typed her address into his phone and Jesse gave her a quick hug. “Thank-you so much. Thank-you.”

Running out of the room, he nearly crashed into the group. Gasping for air, he tugged at Hana’s arm and Genji’s shoulder. “We have to go now!”

“What? What about the concert?” she asked as he pulled her away.

“McCree what are you doing?”

“I know where he is! We have to go now!” Jesse explained as they finally exited the concert hall.

“What? How?” Genji asked.

“Shouldn’t we grab everyone else?”

“Text them while we run to the ship. Please Hana, I can’t wait any longer.”

Nodding at him, the three ran through the streets. She pulled out her phone as she ran. “Lena! We know where he is. Yeah, tell everyone. No. No. The concert is almost over anyway, I’m sure Lucio wants to see him too. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I’ll have him text it to you.”

“So, where is my brother?” Genji asked as they finally reached the ship.

“London.”


	17. London

"So how should we do this?"

"What do you mean?" Hana asked staring at the door, hand already raised to knock.

"Well don't you think it'll be kinda overwhelming for him? I mean we don't even know if he remembers any of us. Maybe just one of us should go talk to him at a time?" Jesse suggested.

"Oh I guess? Uh I guess it should probably be Genji right?" Hana suggested.

"Are we sure? He might not recognize me in this form. What if he only knows me as when I was human?"

Jesse rubbed the back of his neck. "I dunno maybe Hana should? She's the least threatening looking?”

Hana frowned. “But he’s known Genji the longest. It really should be his family.”

“From what I remember we didn’t exactly get along. Maybe I am not the best choice.”

McCree sighed. “Look if it doesn’t go well with you we’ll send in Hana.”

“Why don’t you go in Jesse?” Hana asked.

“What? Some scruffy looking cowboy? He’ll shut the door on me before I put in one word.”

“But you were his husband! You remembered him more clearly than any of us.”

“I just don’t think it should be me.”

“Why not?”

“I… Look I’ll be right back.” Jesse backed away slowly before sprinting. He heard Hana and Genji yell after him, but he couldn’t stop running.

Gasping for breath, he looked around. It was late, so there were very few people walking around the quiet streets. Sighing, Jesse leaned against the birck exterior of some already closed store.

“What the hell am I doing?” Staring up at the sky, Jesse could feel his hands shake. “Damn it.”

Walking down the sidewalk, he spotted a park across the road. The sun was setting, but he could just take a break for a bit on the bench. No doubt that Genji and Hana would come find him soon.

Sitting down, he crossed his arms, rubbing them slightly trying to ignore the cold. “Should’ve brought a cigar. Shit, even a cigarette would be fine right now.”

He would have to go back. Genji had probably already talked to Hanzo. There was no way they weren’t going to bring Hanzo back to the base. There was no way to avoid meeting him.

_“Jesse, I was wondering where you went.” Jesse shrugged, not turning back to look at his fiancé._

_“Just needed some alone time darlin’.”_

_“Your alone time has been almost the entire night. Come, we should go to bed.”_

_“Can’t sleep.”_

_Hanzo sighed, coming to sit next to the cowboy. “What’s troubling you?”_

_“Just… It feels like every day I learn that another person I thought was dead is actually alive. Feels like everyone just keeps abandoning me and then reappearing, acting like nothings wrong. I’m sick and tired of it.”_

_“Jesse.”_

_“First find out Jack’s just been here. Then find out Gabe is one of the bad guys we’ve been chasing. Now, Ana. I’m just not sure whose gonna be the next one to lie to me.”_

_Resting his head on the man’s shoulder, Hanzo smirked to himself. “You know I have some experience dealing with people reappearing.”_

_“Just the one.”_

_“True. The circumstances are different, but the feelings are probably similar. Confusion, hurt, betrayal, and anger. Asking yourself again and again why they chose not to tell you they were alive. Angry that you grieved for them. Angry that you went through all your mourning just to find out it was for nothing. It is alright to be upset, but do not let it prevent you from living.”_

_Jesse wrapped his arm behind Hanzo’s waist, pulling him closer. “I just don’t know how to act. Aren’t I supposed to feel happy?”_

_“Maybe, but only once you have come to terms with how you feel.”_

_“You’ve been hanging around Genji and Zenyatta too much.”_

_Hanzo chuckled. “Do not pout. What else am I supposed to do before you wake up?”_

_“Well I could name a few things, but it might ruin your good mood,” Jesse pulled away slightly so he could wink at the archer._

_Shaking his head, Hanzo stood up. “Come on. Time for bed.” He held his hand out towards the cowboy._

_“Guess it is about time.”_

“Are you…”

Jesse’s head whipped up at the sound. Just behind him, he could hear someone approaching. Standing up, Jesse tried to keep a casual pace as he walked away from the voice.

“Hey!”

Quickening his pace, Jesse swore when he hear footsteps behind him. Didn’t feel like fighting some random punk tonight. Might as well just lose him and head back to the ship.

“Wait!”

“Not gonna do that!” Jesse shouted back.

Running down the road, Jesse quickly swerved into an alley. Not hearing anything else, he finally slowed down and walked through.

“Wait.”

“Persistent, I’ll give you that,” Jesse mumbled under his breath. The other man was breathing heavily, so Jesse merely continued walking.

_“Jesse, please.”_

His whole body froze. No, this wasn’t possible. Was the voice just in his head?

The footsteps got closer, but Jesse couldn’t find it in himself to move. He didn’t turn around or run away. Just stood there.

A hand, gentle on his shoulder caused him to flinch, but only slightly.

“You are Jesse, right?”

He merely nodded.

“Why did you run away?”

“You of all people should know the answer,” Jesse replied quietly. Staring at the ground, he watched as a pair of legs moved around his side to stand directly in front of him.

“Please look at me.”

“I can’t.”

“Jesse.”

“You’re gonna be just another memory. I can’t get my hopes up just to lose you again. You aren’t really here,” Jesse mumbled.

“You are standing with me in an alleyway. We are the only two people here right now. You ran away instead of talking with me at Emily’s house. We have not seen each other in months. This is not a memory.”

Jesse shook his head, feeling his eyes begin to sting.

“Jesse,” The archer wrapped his arms tightly around his cowboy and sighed. “You stubborn man. What will convince you?”

“You remember everything?” Jesse asked.

“I was without my memory for almost this entire time we have been apart. This last week I have suddenly gotten an influx of memories, so many I skipped Lucio’s concert. I will have to apologize to him about that later.”

“You remember everyone?”

“Yes. When Genji and Hana were at the door, I was honestly disappointed not to see everyone. But I was more worried at to where you were.”

“I’m sorry… I just…”

“I understand. I was honestly scared when I came to try and find you.”

“Why?”

He gently ran his fingers through Jesse’s hair. “I thought that maybe you did not remember as much as I did. I thought that maybe you resented me for leaving you. I was scared you did not still love me.”

“Do you still love me?” Jesse asked, hiding his face against the archer’s shoulder.

“Of course. I love you, Jesse. Forever, no matter what happens, I promised to always come back to you.”

Pulling back, Jesse finally raised his eyes to meet Hanzo’s.

Choking back a sob, Jesse shakily raised a hand to cup Hanzo’s jaw. “You got a new hairdo, darlin’.”

Hanzo’s eyebrows shot up before he starting laughing. “After all that… that’s what you say?”

Smiling widely, Jesse wiped away at the tears of laughter streaming down Hanzo’s cheeks. “Well, of course. Also got some piercings?”

Nodding Hanzo tried to keep still as Jesse poked at the new metal. “Huh, you lose your memories and go and change your look?”

“Do you not like it?” Hanzo asked, sounding amused.

“Well now that depends.”

“On what?”

Jesse’s smirk widened. “Got any other piercings you aren’t showing me?”

Chuckling, Hanzo pulled Jesse down by the collar so he could whisper in his ear. “Why do you think I am wearing a regular shirt now?”

"Wait, really?."

"No. Of course not."

“Darlin’ don’t tease me like that. You know that’s cruel.”

“Maybe it is what you deserve after running away from me?” Hanzo raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms.

“Oh so now you’re gonna hold that over me?”

“Just for a while, until you make it up to me.”

“By doing what?”

“I am sure I will figure something out.”

“Were you always like this?” Jesse laughed out as he wrapped his arm’s around Hanzo’s waist.

“What you do not remember everything?” Hanzo challenged, but Jesse could see the slight flash of genuine concern.

“i remember more than enough to know that I love you, even when you are being a tease.”

“I love you,” Hanzo said so sincerely that Jesse thought he might start crying again.

“I love you too. Let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp didn't mean to take that long of a break from this, but here's the end- the next chapter will just be a little cute epilogue


	18. Home

“Maybe we should get married?”

Hanzo glanced up from his book. “Jesse, we are already married.”

“Well, yeah I know, but it’s kinda foggy for everyone except for you. You seem to be the only one that got every memory back perfectly.”

“Probably because of my dragons being the ones to create this ridiculous problem,” Hanzo sighed.

“So, what do you think?”

“Jesse, you may not remember much of our wedding but I do. And I am not going through that again.”

“What if we just had something small? Just for us?” McCree moved to sit on the armrest of the chair, draping his arm over the back.

“What did you have in mind?” Hanzo finally asked, closing his book.

“Next time we’re on a mission together, we could stay a little bit. Have a little private ceremony on a beach. Have a little honeymoon.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Darlin’?” Jesse watched as Hanzo stood up. Walking to their window, he opened it and popped his head out.

“Hmm I wonder what is going on down there?” Turning, Hanzo raised an eyebrow at his husband.

“Did you really think you could trick me so easily? I saw them moving around decorations earlier.”

Jesse scratched his neck, at least bothering to look embarrassed. “Well, Genji and Hana thought that I could convince you. You know, Emily didn’t get to come to our wedding the first time, so…”

“Jesse McCree.”

“Yes?”

“I do,” Hanzo said with a smirk, moving to stand in front of the other. “Now you say it.”

“I do?” Jesse asked, unsure of what exactly he was planning.

“Sounded a little better the first time, but it will have to do.” 

Grabbed Jesse’s collar, Hanzo pulled his husband into a kiss. 

“Now let us go see if Emily and Lena are prepared.”

“What?” Jesse asked, dazed.

Hanzo laughed. “Genji and Hana were merely tricking you. This entire ceremony is for Lena and Emily, you had to have known their wedding was coming up. They just wanted you to stay away because of how… clumsy you have been lately.”

“I have not been…!”

“You have been staring at me so much you have knocked over a poker table, Lucio, one of Torbjorn’s turrets, and a lamp.”

“Well, I can’t help it!”

“Exactly the point. Now, go get into your suit. We can not be late for their wedding.”

“You gonna be wearing your tight suit?” Jesse asked as they walked to the bathroom. 

“Are you going to behave?” Hanzo asked, a smirk on his face.

“Darlin’, I promise to behave for the entire ceremony. We might just have to sneak away immediately after. Deal?”

Hanzo rolled his eyes. “Fine, deal.”

“I love you, darlin’.”

“I love you too, Jesse.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally done! Thank-you to anyone who stuck around and read this whole thing it means a lot <3


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